A Party and A Poem

I had a party this weekend to thank the people who have been paramount friends to me while I've been transitioning, crying, laughing, panicking, saying goodbye, and settling into what the next hellos might look like.

I called this gathering the HOLYSHITiMADEIT party. Please take no offense. I named it with great intention. A few weeks ago I was running down the hill towards Trout Lake (LOVE running down hills) and I was feeling angry and saying bad words in my head. But then the word "shit" took on a new life as I placed it right beside the word "holy" in my imagination.

Now, it may seem offensive and possibly blasphemous to let a word so divine make friends with a word so dirty. Lately though, these two words have become my favourite poem. They are reminding me that really heart breaking things can and do happen all the time. But they are not beyond the reach of a God who makes beautiful things out of really, really crappy things. This is my redemption poem.

These are my party pictures:


It was hot. We took the party to the street.


My friend Nerida and I.


Peekaboo Calgary Greg, Paul I-love-my-beers, Matt from Mission and me.


The always beautiful Kristi.


Some of my fav Willingdon peeps, Lauren and Andy.
The pose? Ummm . . . awkward.


My dear friend Angie and some chicken enchilada leftovers.

Even Under Its Weight, We Smile

Today was the "Farewell to Bobbi" at Willingdon Church. I've served there for four and a half years and it was quite sad to say these goodbyes. I must say, though, that it was one classy and personal affair thanks to the beautiful people who attended, the encouragement they spoke/wrote, and the hugs that they shared.

I am deeply thankful to Jenni, my friend and ministry counterpart, who gathered up bits of art and encouragement from students, created a gracious spirit in the Youth Centre, wrote and led a leaving liturgy, and honoured me in a thousand particular ways.

Here are some highlights:


My friend Sasha and I


Brother and sister: Selena and Travis.


Some of my not-so-little guys: Matty and Mitchell
Mitchell served with me as a SLUG this year (Student Leader Under Guidance)
Matthew has been a constant encouragement to me with his genuine heart and servant leadership


2 of my most consistent kids these last 2 years: Sam and Cheryl


A couple brothers I adore: Neil and Matthias

FYI: The Youth Centre really is this ugly.

Some arts offerings: Katie and Charlene wrote and read a poem
My friend Ryan sang me one of my FAV songs: Josh Ritter's Monster Ballads
I nearly fell on the floor weeping it was all so truly beautiful.

The Weight of Goodbye

The sun is setting
I am sitting
in my house tonight
with the light
what's better?
just an hour or so ago
it came (this light)
almost unannounced through
my north west facing window
it cupped my face
with it's most tender hands
it didn't say a word
it just
held
me
my face in the hands of
the sun
tonight I'm sitting with
(and distracting myself from)
the heaviness that has been getting up
in my personal space
all day
what's worse?
it has been here
for weeks
a lifetime of
weeks
it's the weight of goodbye
banging about in my head
aching up and down my heart
it rolls in so heavy
hides away behind the next hour
and then shows up and
overstays
its
welcome
tomorrow I will say so many
goodbyes and I know
around this world
so many people will be saying
so many
goodbyes
for
good
for
g
o
o
d
GOODBYES
we plead with you
we who live them with
intention and
(please) generosity
may you lend us
a sweet


hello.

It's Not Fair When We Don't Share

My friend Louanne is a wonder.

Some time ago she introduced me to the micro-financing organization Kiva. Straight from their website: Kiva's mission is to connect people through lending for the sake of alleviating poverty. Kiva is the world's first person-to-person micro-lending website, empowering individuals to lend directly to unique entrepreneurs in the developing world.

This past weekend I hung out with Louanne and her husband Paul a couple of times. On both occasions either one or the other was wearing a Kiva t-shirt. I was so inspired by their socially conscious clothing choices that I finally wandered over to kiva.org this afternoon and lent out my first chunk of money to a woman who makes cheese in Peru to support herself and her six children.

This was in the thank you email from Kiva: We believe this is one of the best ways to empower our neighbors, giving them opportunities to become economically independent, improve their standard of living, and alleviate poverty for themselves and their communities.

Yep. Sign me up for that. Wait. I just did.

Beauty Spots -- A New Blog

I had an idea for a new blog while I was traveling. I'm going to play around with it for a while. You can find it here.
Warning: it's grey, too. I love to wear black and blog in grey.

Trip Trickle:::THE GRAND FINALE

REWIND AND RETROSPECT

This trip for my 30th birthday came at an interesting time in my life.

Earlier in the year I had a dream to travel: I wanted to go somewhere with someone. That was it. I seized an occasion to go with a friend (the lovely Sara) while her sister was living in Berlin (the lovely Wendy). We sketched out an itinerary, booked our flights, and then hardly planned a thing.

Just weeks before leaving some massive change landed in my life. I was stuck in some tensions at my church and after much consideration, decided to bow out of the ministry there. Though some people could see the hope that might come after this tough spell, I was, and still feel, quite caught up in the sadness.

These were the bombs and flares exploding as I was about to walk onto a plane and walk off into a European adventure.

“Good timing,” some would say.

“Good timing?” I wondered.

I’m still thinking about that.

I do know that I loved leaving. I loved disappearing. I loved being with my friend Sara. I loved meeting new friends. I loved hanging out with Wendy. I loved eating! I loved drinking. I loved looking. I loved gathering up stories. I loved strapping dorky headsets on at museums to learn everything. I loved how a place or some writing on the wall got under my skin. I loved tree lines and people on their bikes.

I got tired of the heavy narrative I was lugging around with me. I got tired of my broken body with it’s definite limits. I got tired of bringing the wrong luggage. But I don’t think I stayed tired. I think my imagination was refreshed. Who knows where that might lead?


Welcome to Berlin.


Water closet, Berlin.


My shoes in Wendy's window.


Quite an ass, Potsdam.


The Memorial for Murdered European Jews, Berlin.
Early one morning.


Charles Bridge, Prague.


Sara and I, Prague Castle.


Banksy, London.
Leaving our mark.