Sunday, January 27, 2008

IT'S WINTER AND I'M NAKED-FACED





IT’S COLD, BUT NOT THAT COLD

In winter
white blankets comfort
hot coffee brings me new life
porridge is my morning friend
so faithful

And though sheets of
ice
sneak up under my feet
and take me down
crashing
I know that I can
be naked faced
and found
with friends

We muck about in
the snow
and breathe deep
sometimes
forget our worries
standing on a mountain
together
In wonder

Monday, January 21, 2008

WORDS/SOUNDS THAT GOT CAUGHT IN MY HAIR TODAY

“BOB-bi.” 1

The sun-warmed snow clunking its way down cedar trees while I snowshoed.

Silence.

“Only then did she realize that she had slept a long time without dying, sobbing in her sleep, and that while she slept, sobbing, she had thought more about Florentino Ariza than about her dead husband.”2

A picture of you holding a picture of me
In the pocket of my blue jeans3

I felt a suddenness
I felt a suddenness
The day fell completely still
The dream was a lot like this4

Old laughter made new with my dear friend Dara.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
1 my little neighbor, Molly.
2 from Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
3 from the song “Jolene” by Ray Lamontagne
4 from the song “He Came to Meet Me” by Hem

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

ASTONISHMENT

I just discovered the repeat button on my Toyota factory stereo . . . TODAY!

This car has been driven by me for four years.

Me!

I am the one who loves to skip her favourite songs back again and again and again . . . and again and again and again. I think I hope that they’ll press into me so hard that they might become a part of my countenance. I know. It is a little bit freaky.

I can’t believe I didn’t even know about this button until TODAY!

Since this beautiful moment of revelation I have listened to the same glorious Over the Rhine song all through this downcast day.

Nothing delights me more.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

A SIMPLE POEM I AM WRITING

I WALK AT NIGHT IN EAST VAN
by Bobbi

I walked and walked
to restore my sense of self
after losing bits of it all over the place
in meetings
in teeth cleanings
in my windowless office

I walked and walked
in the spitting rain
to the sanctuary of coffee
I watch the community
come and go
all alone or meeting friends
sipping loudly or just
sipping

I walked and walked
to the Main Plant store
though it wasn’t in my plan
I met a man who loves his plants
and sold me a Peace Lily to clean
the air of the toxins I pick up in the day
all day
and that hide deep in the furniture
and creep out late at night

I walk and walk
breathe deep
keep my mind on the words
I read
by Thomas Merton
one of my new book friends,
a contemplative:

“Every moment
and every event
of every man’s life on
earth plants something
in his soul.
For just as wind carries
thousands of winged seeds, so each moment
brings with it germs of spiritual
vitality that come to rest imperceptibly in
the minds and wills of men.
Most of them unnumbered seeds
perish and are
lost,
because men are not prepared to
receive them:
for such seeds as these cannot spring up
anywhere except in the good soil
of freedom,
spontaneity
and love.”

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

THE END OF AN ERA

This past weekend I hosted a party: Angie and Bobbi's Last Wingding. Angie has been my roommate for four years. She has been my BC family, a safe and true friend, and someone I am so glad to share lovely/goofy memories with. I don't think I even know how much I am going to miss her.

Here are some of the visual highlights from the party:


The nomads

Paul and Lou: some of our favourite East Van neighbors

Angie the jumping art student

My friends

More friends

Delta peeps

And here are some of my verbal highlights (some of these are visual, too):
++ Angie's fill-the-room-with-that-beautiful-blue shirt
++ Hospitality JOY
++ "Do you mind drinking wine from a mug?"
++ "I'm drinking wine from a mug!!"
++ Sharing sacred living space
++ Beautiful mix of people
++ Collision of worlds

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

COVERED IN DOG HAIR AND GRACE

Some holiday highlights, chosen especially for mom and dad.






Friday, December 21, 2007

A POEM

I was introduced to a new friend in a book this week: Anne Sexton, an American poet (1928-1974). Her book, The Awful Rowing Toward God, met me at just the right place. Here is a poem with whiffs of Advent:

THE EARTH
by Anne Sexton

God loafs around heaven,
without a shape
but He would like to smoke His cigar
or bite His fingernails
and so forth

God owns heaven
but He craves the earth,
the earth with its little sleepy caves,
its bird resting at the kitchen window,
even its murders lined up like broken chairs,
even its writers dipping into their souls
with jackhammers,
even its hucksters selling their animals
for gold,
even its babies sniffing for their music,
the farm house, white as a bone,
sitting in the lap of its corn,
even the statue holding up its widowed life,
even the ocean with its cupful of students,
but most of all He envies the bodies,
He who has no body.

The eyes, opening and shutting like keyholes
and never forgetting, recording by thousands,
the skull with its brains like eels --
the tablet of the world --
the bones and their joints
that build and break for any trick,
the genitals,
the ballast of the eternal,
and the heart, of course,
that swallows the tides
and spits them out cleansed.

He does not envy the soul so much.
He is all soul
but He would like to house it in a body
and come down
and give it a bath
now and then.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

POMEGRANATE



I want to live
the way
I eat pomegranates
in season

Attentive to each squirting seed
Fingers engaged and messy
Each little bite is
saving me

Saturday, November 24, 2007

RUNNING BACK INTO MY OWN SKIN

I ran today
The sky was folded up in greys and mute blues
I think God was speaking to me
through the woman
walking her dog:
“Good girl. You are a good girl. You are doing so well.”

Friday, November 23, 2007

I JUST HAVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE PARTY AT MY HOUSE

Tonight my FUSE group, a small group of grade 6 girls, came over to my house. We squished a wackload of fun into a couple of hours: baking cookies, eating nachos, wild dancing, and even a rousing game of hide-n-seek. I am in awe of the freedom that comes when people feel safe . . . loved/liked . . . enjoyed. Aren't we beautiful (and utterly silly)? Love it.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

If You Like Music Like I Like Music

Get your lovely, listening ears over to these two concerts on NPR's All Songs Considered:

1. Nickel Creek
2. Josh Ritter

So stinking great.
You can also get them in peerless podcast presentation.

Hello? Comments? Anyone?

That's right, it's time for the Bobbi blog roll call.
Are you reading this thing?
Then say hello.
I have no idea who's reading this thing.
If you read my little blog, please shout "Here!"

Monday, November 05, 2007

Trash Talk

This afternoon I made an oath between me and the earth.

I was making my way up the last hill on my return from a sunny Fall run. It was not one of my finest running hours, but it was time spent outside -- brightening, connecting, mind-wondering time with myself.

Since the outside workers strike this summer in the city of Vancouver, garbage has crept far, far away from trash cans and can’t seem to find it’s way back home. And, now that Halloween trick-or-treaters have wandered through the neighborhoods there are little Lay’s chip bags and Coffee Crisp wrappers everywhere.

Mess has always equaled stress to me, so I decided to start picking some of it up. I’ve resolved to pick up 1 piece of garbage every time I go outside. But there is something noteworthy about picking up one piece of litter: once you start, you can’t stop. This, and it seems like just the right thing to do.

I’ve been thinking about “the right thing to do” since listening to a Jean Vanier interview with Shelagh Rogers of Sounds Like Canada (CBC radio 1). Vanier said, “I am somebody who does something because I feel it is right. But there is no plan. It is just that it is right and that is what I will do.” He talks about the beginning of L’Arche. L’Arche is a community, now all over the world, of people living together in community with people with developmental disabilities. He said that as he began by living with just two people with disabilities he had no idea he was sitting on a gold mine. Vanier is a large voice of peace and hope in our world, and it seems that this action is linked to simply doing the right thing.

Our actions of goodness, though they might be small and seem insignificant, may one day grow legs on their own and walk about spreading peace and beauty all over the place. I want to be a part of a movement like this, even if, for today, it just means I’ll pick up a few pieces of trash in my East Vancouver neighborhood.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Look Out World

Here comes Captain Hygiene!

For our Halloween youth event on Friday I dressed up like Captain Hygiene. My costume was inspired by the preteens I work with and my love for all things clean. One of my lovely sponsors, Emma, dressed up like . . . me! I didn't get it right away, though. I squished by her on our crowded bus and read the pink heart on her grey long-sleeved tshirt. It said, "I heart CBC." I thought, "That's funny. I love the CBC." Then, I got it.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

"And who art thou? said I to the soft-falling shower" (Walt Whitman)

Things I loved about my evening run in the cool rain:
1. The colours of the fallen leaves carpeting the sidewalk.
2. The squish squish sound of my wet, well worn runners as my healthy body moves at its own pace on top of the earth.
3. The glory of the light bursting out of the thick gray atmosphere to say, “Surprise! I really am this beautiful.”
4. The feeling of my own strength as I run.
5. The spaciousness of the city when it rains. People are hiding and the prairie girl in me breathes in this openness. The park is all mine, except for the lover couple under the umbrella and the girl with the jumpy dog and yellow boots (the girl’s boots, that is).

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Turkey Trot


My mom and sister came to Vancouver for Thanksgiving. Amazingly, they let me sign them up for the 9th annual Granville Island Turkey Trot - a 10 K race here in Vancouver. I say that it is amazing because NONE of us are runners/racers/athletes. We do love each other, though, so when I expressed interest in this event my lovely mom and sister joined right in (well, Kasha took a little convincing).

It was a beautiful day. There was so much to be thankful for: the changing colours of fall, the water of the sea in the inlet, the presence of friends (Paulina who ran at my slow pace), the diversity of the runners/walkers, our health, the red Puma Turkey Trot shirts, and the fact that it did not pour rain on our grateful heads.

Friday, October 05, 2007

I ALMOST BROKE UP WITH GREY'S ANATOMY . . . UNTIL . . .


"I don't watch a lot of TV."

I know a lot of people like to say that to appear smarter or less lazy, but I truly only find time for The National, The Hour, and usually one show a week. I also like to sound smart and less lazy.

Last year my chosen show was Grey's Anatomy. I wouldn't even say that I chose it, really. I felt chosen by it. I savored the moments of messy humanity in all it's dramatic splendor. The season ended lame, though, so we broke up.

This week I tuned into the new season (oh, and last week, too) and I am momentarily glad we are keeping up our relationship. The theme of this week's episode was addictions -- how people hold onto them even when they know they are destructive, how people develop them from places of real need, how even when we know we should flea with all our energy we don't because it hurts a little less to go back even just once. The various story lines didn't end all solved and tidy, either. I guess that's a bit like the struggle. Plus, those TV people are smart buggers who keep people like me coming back for more.

There is one more theme I liked about this week's episode. The people who dispensed wisdom were the most unlikely. Burke's "ma ma" pointed out some of the most beautiful traits in the people who crossed her path, even those people the viewer could have seen as her adversaries. McSteamy (oh ya) took a moment to check in with Callie as she came close to slipping off the edge of control. And, on it went.

I love sneaky wisdom like this. It is the kind that hides behind an ugly, falling-down fence and then saddles up beside you on a lonely walk to remind you of how the world is or how it should be, anyway.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Slimed


There are days that end well and days when I feel like I'm just scraping the slime off. Here's what I mean.

Days can start off so pleasantly. The sun can reach into the window to greet you. Coffee is prayer in a potter's cup. Sounds of the house say that everyone is home and about to greet the day, too. We are all greeting new days together, though there are some walls that separate us.

But as the day unfolds and we dance around in it (or just shuffle through) some slime can get dumped all over us. This slime can be bits of peoples' ideas of life that squish life down to something so trivial when the whole time we're trying so hard to trace the Spirit. The slime can come in the form of self-imposed laws that we're trading in for full life and love. The slime can come in arrogant ideas that make other people out to be wrong and what's worse, less.

I'm finding ways to scrape off the slime, though. There is so much life to live and my mystic soul is catching it's breath through CBC radio which always reminds me that there is a big world out there, through the music of Romantica and Josh Ritter whose songs soar of this real life, and through new friends met after a wonderful film viewing at Regent.

There is grace upon grace.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Enter Fall


My friend Paulina and I rode our bikes at the Lower Seymour Conservation Reserve on this beautiful fall-like day.



I am drinking more Earl Grey tea.
My nose is cold when I fall asleep at night with my window open a bit.
I am wearing sweaters, shoes and socks.
I am running farther than I've ever ran before.
I am signed up to run my first race (for fun): the Turkey Trot.
The tree outside my house is all ablaze in red.

Ahhhh . . . autumn.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

I Heart Music

These are some of the songs I keep playing over and over and over and over . . .

1. Patty Griffin - Mother of God
2. Caedmon's Call - I Just Don't Want Coffee
3. Over the Rhine - Trouble
4. Luke Doucet - Broken One
5. Ryan Adams - Two

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