I've been listening to the same cd for the last 5 hours

While in Edmonton last week for the holidays my sister and I tracked down the new Ray LaMontagne cd Till the Sun Turns Black. I've been listening to it over and over again today while finishing up a really good book. There's a concert linked from his website to the NPR site and now I'm pretending like I'm there. You should try it if this NPR article description appeals to you:

Singer, songwriter and guitarist Ray LaMontagne makes mellow, sometimes dark, poetry songs that are part folk, part soul, with warmly textured atmospherics.

If it weren’t for cigarettes I think I'd be a smoker

A few years ago my friend was visiting from out of town. At some point in our conversation she told me why she started smoking in university. She explained that she needed to escape the snooty students in her program and she found real camaraderie in the smoker circle.

I wish churches had smoker circles. I think I'd hang out there.

Smokers: I watched them one day a few weeks back. I was traveling on a four stop red eye flight to Cincinnati. As I waited for one of my flights I watched as smokers gathered in the designated smoking rooms. I sat alone in the clean air waiting for my flight to board. The smoker filed into the brownish fog, sat down, lit up, took the first drag and soon after started into conversation with a smoker stranger.

I'm craving some smoker community. The kind where I can sit down, not be so concerned about how together I am (or am not), and where just as simply as breathing I invite others to do the same.

Props

Sometimes you really don't know what the outcome will be. This is especially true in youth ministry.

I'm a planner. I like to make plans. I like to imagine my plans playing out and sit back later and reflect, "Indeed, those were fine plans."

The students I work with remind me that no matter how I envision an experience, it's likely, in actuality, to be absolutely nothing like what I imagined.

Tonight at youth I gave the FUSE groups (small groups) chunks of the Luke 1-2 passage from The Message to creatively communicate to the rest of the group. Off they went to be creative and strengthen the bonds of relational ministry. They seemed excited; I anticipated success.

The first group up was one of the guys' groups. They began with some strange drug reference (Where the heck did they get that???? Not to mention that they are in GRADE 7!). Next came the oranges. One of the fellas put two Mandarin oranges up to his scrawny frame. He was playing the part of Elizabeth (Zechariah's wife and mother of John the Baptist) and those fine oranges became boobs.

Wait! Those were not my plans! Though, I had to give the buddy some credit for keeping it real and being true to the not-so-G-rated way of the Bible. And still, there's more.

One of the students yelled out from the audience, "Hey, those are too low!"

Mr. Oranges-for-boobs declared, "No they're not. I'm old."

I liked this movie

I saw the new Pedro Almodóvar film staring Penelope Cruz this weekend - Volver - and I, unlike my fellow moviegoer, truly enjoyed it. Half way through the film my friend leaned over and said way too loudly, "This is weird." I said, "Learn how to whisper." I then went back to wrapping myself up in the world of this fine foreign film.

I enjoyed this film for its dark comedy, rich relationships, family dynamics, mystery, and colourful landscape. I absorbed themes of loyalty, love, revenge, secrets, death, and community. The film focuses on women who are connected in family and the people who are connected to them in the peripheral spaces.

I read this fine review at Salon.com

It's not a film for everyone, but then again maybe it should be.

Fine Footwear

Today I got annoyed.

It seems that I have a tendency to buy shoes that don't fit quite right. What is wrong with me? You'd think now that I'm in my late 20s I could buy shoes that fit properly.

I bought a pair of shoes in the spring - size 9. It should have been a great fit. The last shoes that I got I was fitted for at The Running Room and they are fine footwear - size 9. These new shoes - an outdoor half-ass hiker - are like strapping planks to my feet. WAYYYY too big. Well, just a smidge, but an annoying smidge all the same.

I was out and about today in the slush buying overpriced craft supplies for my maniac students to make Christmas gifts for others at youth next Friday. I decided to pop into MEC and see if they still carried the plank shoes that I bought in the spring. Sure enough, there they were. And what's more, there they were in a glowing size 8.5.

I told the nice MEC person my story. And she let me take the 9ers off my feet and trade them in. No cost. No bother. Just a better fitting pair of shoes that keep my feet dry.

Snowday Monday

I love snow! It's a little like the rest of Canada in Vancouver this week. This is the view of the backyard from the kitchen.


These are my happy prairie Sorel boots. They love days like today.


The path to the laundry room - brrr.

I Heart Youth Specialties

Here are some highlight pics from my trip to the National Youth Workers Convention in Cincinnati (November 16-20).

My good buddy Robby Olson and I eating a Cincinnati favourite - Skyline Chili. Who knew Cincinnati was famous for their chili? Not I. What I actually ate is this - the description comes straight from the Skyline Chili menu: 3-Way Chili: Our signature dish...steaming spaghetti, covered with our original, secret-recipe chili and topped with a mound of shredded cheddar cheese. My, oh my.


My new friend Ashley and I. Ashley met Jer in their Critical Concerns course and then Ashley and I had lunch and talked "women in youth ministry."


Jer and I at Outback with Mark. Mark's below . . .


Our Team Leader - Mark "the big dog" Janzen. I really love these guys (Mark and Jer). They continue to show me respect, make my gut hurt with big laughs, and warm my heart with their brotherly love for me and the kids/families we work with. Yay Team!


YS does it up big. This is the stage where we gathered for General Sessions at the Duke Energy Centre. And though YS does a lot of things big and loud, the conference gives a person plenty of ways to tailor the weekend just the way one needs it.

The big theme of my weekend was a continuation of the theme that I've been noticing in my life for the past 6 months - simple moments are charged with the deeply sacred. I found God in the small things more than the loud things at the YS conference: meeting with a mentor, Marv; hanging out with old and new friends; bumping into one of YS's spiritual directors that I spent some time with 2 years ago, Maggie; drawing out a prayer with crayons at a contemplative course . . . I LOVE YOUTH SPECIALTIES.

I also wrote a poem during weekend. It is about the moment I had catching up with Maggie, one of YS's spiritual directors. Here it is . . .

MAGGIE AND ME

I saw her
in attentive conversation
orange walls, orange ceiling

A hope rushed in as I rushed on
I wanted to be in her
incense presence

I turned and stepped on insecurity
down orange hallways
I was recognized and embraced

Toothy smile to toothy smile
a moment to reconnect and remember
--a commissioning
--a note passed, tacked to the fridge
--a breaking heart
--a shining countenance

Farewells of blessings and peace
woven in the sacred space between
two soul friends

Me and My Grandma

I'm presently putting together a few short personal essays to apply to Regent College. Here's one I'm working on this week:

Me and My Grandma

- where I come from -

Two years ago my Grandma Salkeld passed away. She had lived a good life and her decline in health happened rapidly. The news of her turn was at first shocking. I was comforted by words from my uncle. He highlighted the theme of goodness in her life and how she had never wanted to live in an extended care facility. My family, the Salkeld’s, gathered around her hospital bed in Esterhazy, Saskatchewan, two days after she was admitted. She was no longer conscious and in only a few hours she would slip away.

I had flown in from Vancouver. My cousin Lindsey had driven with his wife all the way from Oklahoma City, and my mom had made the journey from her and my dad’s new life in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Other family members came from Edmonton, Calgary, Regina, and the small farming community around Esterhazy. As we gathered from our far away and fairly near homes, we wove our conversations around my grandma’s irregular breaths. We recounted memories and we laughed.

Sister Cecile, one of the nuns from the Catholic Church down the street from the hospital, made mention as she touched my grandma’s face with gentle care that we were creating the perfect environment in the room with our laughter. She said, “This is exactly what Joan should be surrounded by right now.” That afternoon I talked with my family about my memories of my grandma’s movement; I could almost hear a buzz in my ears.

I grew up on the farm that she and my grandpa spent most of their lives on. My grandma was the most frenzied busy-body I know. I have clear memories of her buzzing around the farmhouse kitchen baking ginger snaps, muffins, cinnamon buns, chocolate cake, and Christmas toffee all in one delicious afternoon. I can see her small five foot something body going to and from various farm duties – feeding farmers and neighbors, chasing cattle, helping in the shop, poisoning gophers (an important farm duty when you have herds of cattle grazing in the pastures). Her mouth rarely stopped for a break from chatter. She gave voice to stories from our family history, local country gossip, and details about how much something cost or who had recently written her a letter.

I can see traces of my grandma in me almost every day. I am so thankful that my grandma was an important part of my childhood. And I am so glad that she taught me some things about creatively using my time, working hard no matter how menial the task may seem, and loving those around you in ways that are true to who you are.

What if more statements of belief started like this?

(Insert name of organization here) is devoted to joining the God of the oppressed in the restoration of all creation.

Where do I sign up?

Read more at http://www.mhbcmi.org/about/faith.php

And now for a fun pic of my friend Rebecca and I on our way back from the "Pastor and Spouses'" Retreat this week (yes, it's really called that). She's getting married at this location next summer. I'm . . . not:)

My New Friend

My new friend Thomas.


Yummy Queen of the Kitchen pizza.


Over a year ago I decided to tell my ebay-loving dad that I'd like a bread maker. I've become quite the queen of the kitchen in the last few years and I figured a bread maker would be a lovely addition to my kitchen supplies. Soon after my request my dad called me up to report that he had indeed found a brand new bread machine on ebay, he had purchased it, and it was ready for me . . . in South Dakota (where my parents live).

And so began the pilgrimage of the bread maker. A few months later it made it to my motherland of Esterhazy, SK, by way of car. Then months later it traveled with my sister to her home in Edmonton, AB. And only this summer did it make the final leg of the journey to Vancouver in a car with a friend of my brother's. Sadly, by then, the novelty of having a bread maker wore off and I left it in the box . . . until today. Today I was craving pizza and the bread maker, O the poor neglected bread maker, it made bread.

This blog is for you, dad. Thanks for the bread maker!

I cried all day.

I rode my bike downtown today to see a film at the Vancouver International Film Festival (VIFF): Away From Her directed by Sarah Polley (who was actually there to introduce the movie). This film sparkles with the elements of life. It is about a couple who, after being married for 44 years, are faced with Altheimer's disease and the places it takes them. The screen play, written by Polley and based on the Alice Munro story "The Bear Came Over the Mountain" takes themes of love, devotion, mistakes, grace, sacrifice, loss . . . to close-to-the-heart heights and depths. I'm in love with it. Should you get the chance, and you aren't bothered by beautifully slow moving dramas, then I recommend it.

Prayers in All Places

Today, in the buzz of my coming, going, and working at a church my prayer was found lodged in a song so beautiful and lovely. I hope it follows me into the week. Have a listen at www.thewailinjennys.com

THE WAILIN' JENNYS
One Voice
(Ruth Moody)

This is the sound of one voice
One spirit, one voice
The sound of one who makes a choice
This is the sound of one voice

This is the sound of voices two
The sound of me singing with you
Helping each other to make it through
This is the sound of voices two

This is the sound of voices three
Singing together in harmony
Surrendering to the mystery
This is the sound of voices three

This is the sound of all of us
Singing with love and the will to trust
Leave the rest behind it will turn to dust
This is the sound of all of us

This is the sound of one voice
One people, one voice
A song for every one of us
This is the sound of one voice
This is the sound of one voice

What is Bobbi doing with these 2 hotties?

My friends Mike and Jon stayed with my roommate Angie and I for a week. They left today. I'm a bit sad to see them go.

Mike and Jon are friends from home and their family is SO LOVED by our family. Their mom and dad, Kathy and Larry, came into my mom and dad's lives at a pivotal time. They provided spiritual direction and light in a time when our family experienced darkness. They brought my parents into a Jesus loving faith community and eventually all us kids followed. Ahhhh . . . the Severins. Mike and Jon have traveled far, adventured much, and are two outstanding buddies. I'm so glad they chose to stay with me for a bit on their return to Canada from Australia.

Here are a few highlights: coming home from work a couple days in a row and having dinner made and a quick inquiry, "Bob, how was your day?"; good meals against the backdrop of beautiful BC scenery through the mountain-facing windows of my East Vancouver home; flashbacks of fun memories like Jon's ear whistling when he plugged his nose and blew really hard; laughter of trusted friendships; honest conversations about stuff that matters and goes deep.

Meet Wesley Justin

My dear friends Kristi and Dave welcomed this lovely lil' lad into their family last week. Here he is! I am amazed at the arrival of life - it just shows up. The mystery of who this buddy is and who he will grow to be makes me want to do a little dance.

I'M IN A PODCAST!

On Friday at work last week my friend Andy, one of the worship leaders at the church who is also very involved in the college ministry, invited me to be the "token female voice" in their first ever FLuX podcast. I felt like I was on the CBC! Check it out.

http://www.theflux.ca/

Spectacular Saskatchewan (and Alberta)

Here are some more pictures of my vacation. I loved my time in the prairies. I love being a part of my family. I love the blackness of the prairie night. I love the closeness of old friendships.

The people pictures are of the following: Helen and I (Adam's girlfriend whom we love); my friend Steph, her daughter Jae, and I; my cousin Amanda and I at her wedding dance; Adam, Kasha, and I at Outback; my cousin Jaime's daughter, Paige, making Adam beautiful.

Ode to My Sister

I spent a week with my sister in Edmonton, en route by car with her to south east Saskatchewan, and zig zagging from Esterhazy to Spy Hill to Gerald to Spy Hill to "the farm" to Langenburg . . . all the way back to Edmonton. This girl has got a lot going for her. Not only is she a beauty, but she packs a wise punch, is incredibly knowledgeable in her field of work (working with families and early ed kids with special needs), loves to make herself laugh(and others, too), and she puts up with me even when I'm a snot face* for a whole week. I love this girl. Here's to you, Rash!

The pictures are of Kasha and Adam at Outback & Kasha and Shabyn - our friends' Robyn and Shawn's son.

* I mean this literally; I got a nasty head cold while on my prairie vacation. Kasha didn't even come close to throwing me out of her clean car.

Illuminares

My friend Lisa and I rode our bikes to the lluminares Lantern Procession at Trout Lake Park here in Vancouver last night. I loved it. Thousands of people create lanterns - from freakish to fantastical - and walk this loop around the park with their glowing creations. It's a beautiful excercise of creativity, community, and hope.

This event has contributed to something that is growing larger inside of me: a surge of joy is expanding and giving me a strong feeling of home. I feel like I've been looking for this for 10 years. Who knows how long it will last, but today it's warm and the noices of the city around me are my song.

Peace to you friends and family,

Bobbi

Lessons from My Little Brother

My brother Adam was out to visit last weekend and I am sure of one thing – I love that guy. It is fun spending some extended time with him. He is one of the people closest to me, and still he is someone I continue to get to know better. Most of his growing up took place after I left home and we haven’t lived in the same place since. Or maybe it’s that most of my growing up took place after I had left home and . . . anyway.

For me, spending time with family is like spending time in front of a full length mirror. On this viewing of myself I see that I am far too eager to please others. Adam, however, doesn’t feel the need to impress people; I think he sleeps better being unimpressive*. Adam just is – like it, love it, or go batty because of it. I’m still not sure what I should learn from this difference of character, but I think I’ll just sit with it and let it soak into the places that need it. Maybe there’s a time to impress others, but maybe today I’ll relax and just be a bit more like my little brother.

* I borrowed this line from the movie “Garden State.”

California rest in peace

Rest and play is good for the soul - San Francisco Bay Area vacation July 3-10, 2006.